Quotations About Golf

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer.  That's the distance my left ear is from my right.  

Ben Crenshaw

Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs.  You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.  

Val Doonican

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.  

Horace G. Hutchinson

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.  

Sam Snead

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. 

Phyllis Diller

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan.  Today it's called the PGA Tour.  

Author uncertain

Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.  

Grantland Rice

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.  

Attributed

If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? 

Larry Nelson

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.  

Michael Green

I'd play every day if I could.  It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.  

Brent Musburger