Cute Quotes About Cats

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult.  It's not.  Mine had me trained in two days.  

Bill Dana

The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city. 

Carl van Vechten

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.  

Robertson Davies

Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.  

Louis J. Camuti

Everything I know I learned from my cat:  When you're hungry, eat.  When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam.  When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner.  

Gary Smith

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. 

Barbara Holland

Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.

P.G. Wodehouse

People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find they both have cats.  And plunge into anecdote.  

Charlotte Gray

Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule:  when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.  

John Weitz

Your cat may never have to hunt farther than the kitchen counter for its supper nor face a predator more fierce than the vacuum cleaner.  

Barbara L. Diamond

Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it.  

Arthur Bridges

If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first.  

Arthur Weigall

If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr.  

Barbara L. Diamond

Good Quotations for Curmudgeons

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.  

G.K. Chesterton

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities.  It is the only pleasure I have left. 

Voltaire

The only thing that could spoil a day was people.  People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.  

Ernest Hemingway

All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty.  

Logan Pearsall Smith

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.  

Horace Walpole

Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too.  But it never helps.  

Lemony Snicket

Paradoxical as it sounds, many intellectuals prefer life in the mud to life in clear water.  

Martin H. Fischer

There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. 

Maya Angelou

The mad are happy, the sane ignorant; those of us stuck on the sane side of madness or the mad fringe of sanity are in a purgatorial cage.  

Anonymous

Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from womb to tomb, and, when we are least expecting it, deals us a series of crushing blows from behind. 

Hesketh Pearson

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.  

Jean Rostand

Nothing begins, and nothing ends, that is not paid with moan; for we are born in other's pain, and perish in our own.  

Francis Thompson

We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs.  

Kenneth Clark

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two:  those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.  

Mark Twain

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. 

 George Bernard Shaw

I don't answer the phone.  I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end.  

Fred Couples

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?  Is it because we are not the person involved? 

Mark Twain

He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind. 

Willa Cather

Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part, and does not believe in the play. 

Mignon McLaughlin

Cute Quotes About Cows

I guess cows aren't into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.  

Anthony Clark

Condensed milk is wonderful.  I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.  

Fred Allen 

A cow is a very good animal in the field, but we turn her out of a garden. 

Samuel Johnson

Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of the field in hopes that the cow will back up to them.  

Elbert Hubbard

Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, "I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?"  

Bill Watterson

The human body has no more need for cows' milk than it does for dogs' milk, horses' milk, or giraffes' milk.  

Michael Klaper

Tongue - a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow.  

Bob Ekstrom

Custard:  A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.  

Ambrose Bierce

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.  

Dennis Wholey

He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow.  

Italian Proverb

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.  

Henry Louis Mencken

 The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing. 

Lord Chesterfield

I go about looking at horses and cattle.  They eat grass, make love, work when they have to, bear their young.  I am sick with envy of them.  

Sherwood Anderson

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.   

Dave Barry

Famous Quotations about Consumerism

I may be a pessimist, but the philosophy of anti-thrift just now coming into being seems to me the greatest danger to the peace of the world.  

Adriano Tilgher

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. 

Unknown

Every intelligent boy of sixteen is a Socialist.  At that age one does not see the hook sticking out of the rather stodgy bait.  

George Orwell

 We realize we can't have everything, and so begins the mad scramble to have everything else.

 Robert Brault

He who buys what he does not need steals from himself. 

Author Unknown

To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year.  

Elwyn Brooks White

The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.  

Francis H. Bradley

Avarice is fear sheathed in gold. 

Paul Eldridge

Forethought and temperance are the virtues which produced thrift, and with thrift the economic progress of society.  And those are the virtues which today are gravely compromised.  

Adriano Tilgher

Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.  

Henry David Thoreau

Be glad that you're greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren't.  

Mignon McLaughlin

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.  

Vernon Howard

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.  

Author Unknown

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed.  

Mohandas K. Gandhi

Good Quotes On Computer

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.  

Joseph Campbell

Don't explain computers to laymen.  Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.  

Robert A. Heinlein

A picture is worth a thousand words but it takes 3,000 times the disk space.  

Author Unknown

It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human-literacy.  Computers have to become human-literate.  

Nicholas P. Negroponte

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.  

Joseph Weizenbaum

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.  

John F. Kennedy

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.  

Author Unknown

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. 

Author Unknown

The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.

Marcus Dolengo

Do files get embarrassed when they're unzipped?  

Author Unknown

What do you call a doctor that fixes websites?  A URLologist. 

Author Unknown

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.  

Edsger W. Dijkstra

There are three kinds of death in this world.  There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. 

Guy Almes  

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. 

Sydney J. Harris

Computers are like air conditioners.  They work fine until you start opening windows.  

Author Unknown

My computer kept beating the pants off me at chess, until I discovered that it was no match against me at kickboxing.  

Author Unknown

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. 

Werner von Braun

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!  

Richard Feynman

The Unix philosophy basically involves giving you just enough rope to hang yourself.  And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.  

Author Unknown

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end."  

Douglas Adams

In the old days, people robbed stagecoaches and knocked off armored trucks.  Now they're knocking off servers.  

Richard Power

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. 

Author Unknown

Quotations about Clothing

It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes. 

Henry David Thoreau

Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.  

Henry David Thoreau

I have a hankering to go back to the Orient and discard my necktie.  Neckties strangle clear thinking.  

Lin Yutang

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed.  There ain't much credit in that.  

Charles Dickens

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.  

Will Rogers

Funny that a pair of really nice shoes make us feel good in our heads - at the extreme opposite end of our bodies.  

Levende Waters

Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?  

P.G. Wodehouse

Why is it considered seductive for women to wear beautiful clothes?  Wouldn't it make more sense to wear something so ugly that a guy couldn't wait to take it off you?  

Flash Rosenberg

The dress must not hang on the body but follow its lines.  It must accompany its wearer and when a woman smiles the dress must smile with her.  

Madeleine Vionnet

Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim.  

Jane Austen

After all there is something about a wedding-gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.  

Douglas William Jerrold

Clothes are inevitable.  They are nothing less than the furniture of the mind made visible.  

James Laver

For your own sake you should give her a new gown; for variety of dresses rouses desire, and makes an old mistress seem every day a new one.  

William Wycherley

When I free my body from its clothes, from all their buttons, belts, and laces, it seems to me that my soul takes a deeper, freer breath. 

August Strindberg

Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding. 

Philip Dormer Stanhope

She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or who imagines life must be full of emergencies.  

Mavis Gallant

There is nothing touches our imagination so much as a beautiful woman in a plain dress. 

 Joseph Addison

Those who make their dress a principal part of themselves, will, in general, become of no more value than their dress. 

William Hazlitt

If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime; but if clothing be your honor, it will soon be worn threadbare.  

William Arnot

A part of this strangeness of dress is that it links the biological body to the social being, and public to private. 

Elizabeth Wilson

A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers.  

Helen Lawrenson

What a man most enjoys about a woman's clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them.  

Brendan Francis