An
expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a
fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
William
Castle
The
only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was
useless.
Nicholas Chamfort
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite
of all the people who say he is very good.
Robert Graves
It's
always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Author Unknown
As
to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed.
Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around.
Robert Brault
The
universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable
thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen
When
somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
Author Unknown
A
prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not
to kill him.
Sir Winston Churchill
The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.
Author
Unknown
Duct
tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds
the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Author Unknown
A
scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a
big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Jack Benny
I
used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of
natural causes.
Author Unknown
If
you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him
vile names.
Elbert Hubbard
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